I recently came across a poem,, and I guess a self generated theory, and a controversy about the two.
The poem itself has been very impactful even in a short period of time. It has spoken to my past. But even since I read it I feel like life has somehow conspired to give me a practical exam on it.
Truthfully I have a lot of hope for what this blog could become who could be at least for me. But my track record for keeping up with them is poor so rather than promising anything at this point I’m just going to post this. It is a poem by Cassie Phillips. It is the subject, (it seems), of a theory that Mel Robbins claims to have discovered after the poem was written. The controversy is around whether Ms. Robbins plagiarised or gave enough credit to Cassie Phillips. There is your poem, your theory and the controversy in three nutshells.
And now for the poem:
Just let them.
If they want to choose someone or something over you, LET THEM.
If they want to go weeks without talking to you, let them.
If they are okay with never seeing you, let them.
If they are okay with always putting themselves first, let them.
If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, let them.
If they want to follow the crowd, let them.
If they want to judge and misunderstand you, let them.
If they act like they can live without you, let them.
If they want to walk out of your life and leave, hold the door open and let them.
Let them lose you.
You were never theirs because you're always your own.
So, let them.
Let them show you who they truly are not tell you.
Let them prove how worthy they are of your time.
Let them make the necessary steps to be a part of your life.
Let them earn your forgiveness.
Let them call you to talk about ordinary things.
Let them take you out on a Thursday.
Let them talk about anything and everything just because it's you they are talking to.
Let them have a safe place in you.
Let them see the heart in you didn't harden.
Let them love you.
Isn’t it amazing?
As I said above, life hasn’t exactly been easy the last few days/weeks/months/years. So even if everything was rosy today, the poem would still speak to me. But things are not easy right now. Nor, realistically are they likely to become easy.
I guess I always expected that if I was a good enough person and did everything to the best of my ability at all points I would earn a different sort of respect than the respect I’m getting. I grew up in what now feel like a different time. There is a loneliness and sadness in that.
My brother has said that my various attempts to blog have generally been when I need to vent or rent. I can’t promise that he’s not right that’s what this might end up being. I’m not even sure if blogging is realistically a thing anymore. However, once again, I have come to write. I think I’m going to use it as a repository of my discoveries in the first instance.
There is also the sense of missing having a community and seeing if I can build it. But first I need to be consistent for a while here.
I was really emotional this morning. As a person with a disability living in Australia I have an NDIS plan. Managing the plan and the bits and pieces that come off it is itself stressful. A glitch has developed in my plan that after three attempts still isn’t solved. In fact, from my perspective it feels like the NDIS is punishing me for existing. Or being capable. Or a combination of the two.
Currently, amongst all my stresses it is only the NDIS and its malfunctioning tentacles that is stressing me out to the point of depression or giving up, or hating myself. Yes, it needs fixing. But we need to be careful. If it implodes we need to be sure that it doesn’t implode on the good people who will blame themselves or feel like less than, or rejected, or other.
If I am feeling like this, I can only imagine how others who are less proactive and less capable of being proactive cope.
Anyway, back to the poem. It feels like the drama of the last couple of days has been sent to test my resolve on just letting them and striking the correct balance between proactivity, and not sweating the small stuff.
